You Rather Than Me

Speak to me, Speak through me.
Disregard myself, overtake me.
I witness your quiet power,
Complete control in face of disaster.
Watch me as I fall apart.
Now your strength impart.

Set me aside, push me asunder.
Protect me from my own blunders.
Your wisdom greater than mine,
May it be my guide and sign.
I submit myself to follow you.
Don't let me cease to ensue.

The days go by and I forget about life,
Asking myself is this what I live for?
I want to be on your side.
Not satisfied I'm wanting more.
Here's my life take it and make it.
Whatever it should to be.

Impatent Boredom

Impatience reigning here tonight.
Finding endless boredom while I wait.
Seems today I fail to appreciate,
The nothingness I often want.
Not knowing from where it came,
Why it's here is a mystery the same.
I seek to disown the unwelcomed name,
Of this the ungrateful wretch.

Waiting

Once again I find myself waiting.
Within my soul I hear debating,
Has the Lord, my God, forgotten me?
Why so long and still I'm yet to see,
Here is the hope I trust, God still reigns.
The power of His great love remains.
If only this truth would penetrate,
And thus relieve my worry bound state.
Let's cast away our cares and worries,
By offering wholehearted praises.
Thus rejoicing in the truth we know,
Our focus rather than here below,
Is moved to eternal heights above.
And there we find our King's faithful love.

The Way I See It.

Whatever it takes, wherever I am going,
Lack of dreams, motivation not bestowing,
Life will be just as it comes about.
All such lives take this same route,
Ending unaccomplished, unadorned,
Every mentor thus forewarns.
But each to his own realities,
I float in endless possibilities.

Etched Across the Sky

Caught in a world of nothingness.
I stand in the emptiness.
Worries tossed aside,
My soul rises up to glide,
Soaring above horizon's clouds.
Seen in the sunrise's shrouds,
I've found the glory of my King's delight.

Your way doesn't always make sense,
But I will trust your direction.

Your wisdom, in its great expanse,
Intensifies my vain foolishness.

The world You created full of beauty,
Brings to mind my endless insufficiency.

I find myself at the wrong end of life,
Far from where I want to be.

Coming to grips with my inability,
Forced to search beyond myself.

Only in this state of helplessness,
Can inadequacies be changed to sufficiency.

Here I met with the work of Christ,
By His power made victorious.

The guidance of the Lord leads me,
As I submit to follow Him.

The blood of my Savior changes my existence,
Seen as perfect before the Lord.

Still I live my life,
Struggling to make it right.

But now given confidence,
His work will be sure.

I trust the faithfulness of my Lord.
He will take me where I need to go.

Though oft I can not see,
While darkness surrounds me.

I hear the promises of God so I know,
I will come to be where I need to go.

Here Another Day

Here is another day that I am to live.
Ordinary and routine both wrapped around me.
I forget to look for everyday miracles.
Time dragging on so slowly.
Pulling towards the end of this today.
Continuing even now is the same boring monotony,
Monotony of yet the same thing over and over again.

Mistakes

The worst thing about living in this world is what I forget to say.
Words left unsaid because of fear or lack of motivation.
Things left undone because I argue and dig for myself a way out.
I refuse to let it happen again today but I know it will anyway.
The sanctifying work the Lord is completing in me,
Is so far from being completed. Yet I know by faith I will continue to grow.
May my foolishness be finally overcome by God's great grace.
His mercy sustains me and I will boldly say,
"Jesus is Lord and besides Him there is no other way!"

Father, I need you.
Yes, it is true, I am in need of you.
Deliver me O, my Lord.
My Savior, forever,

Created to Love You

So often I get it all wrong.
Finding myself worrying too long.
Focusing on getting things done.
Distracted by all I've begun.
Times like these I need reminded,
Again Lord, of what I just did.
Service and sacrifice placed above
The importance of love.

Created to give you my love.
I'm bought by my Redeemer's blood.
I turn my thoughts to the Most High.
What He always will supply
Is my delight, found in Him.
Let my focus forever dwell,
On my Lord's holy character.

The world is crying out, can you not hear it?
My world screaming loudly in my ear,
Do I dare ignore it?
Asking what I do not know,
What am I to do?
Lord help me follow you.

When figuring out life ceases to be important

O Lord, I long for quiet in my soul.
To trust in you this I have been told.
I try to close my eyes and let it slide,
It just doesn't seem to work tonight.
The worries of the world don't seem to hinder me.
I just don't know.
This is the reality
That has brought disharmony.

A new day begins start it right by going slow.
Let all the rush and worry slide below.
Lifting my voice my God I seek.
Direct my paths empower me who is weak.
From Your Word I find needed wisdom,
And gain discernment for life under the sun.
Striving to live for the glory of my King,
Success only His grace to me can bring.

Another day gone by.
Searching my mind to find,
Any usefulness it may posses.
Was yesterday simply wasted away?
I am determined before the end of today,
I will accomplish something to distinguish it,
From countless useless days.

I Need to Trust in You

I find myself worrying
And wondering about life.
What is there ahead of me?
Where will life take me to be?
How can I prepare for uncertainty?
This day spent reflecting...
Things that might become reality.
I am wasting my day.

I turn to the Lord,
Seeking peace and joy.
Father, rescue me from where I am.
Bring me closer to who I need to become.
Give me Your wisdom for living today.
May I not trust my plans for tomorrow,
But rather reveal those You have for me.
Teach me how to live them out.

Questions brought up in life.
I am searching for an answer.
This is the difficulty,
I really don't know.
Or perhaps that isn't true.
Maybe I really do know.
Am I just deceiving myself?
This is to me a mystery.
I continue the struggle
Trying to find out.
Searching within myself.
Seeking an answer,
To satisfy each new question.

He is always with me wherever I go.
Guide me to where I need to be.
I will follow where He leads.
My Lord has promised to me,
His deliverance and victory.
In this I find my joy and hope,
My Lord has said to me,
"I delight in you."
Hear the words he speaks to you.

Jesus I need you.
I need you today,
and again tomorrow.
You were here for me yesterday
and have proven yourself again throughout the morning.
I know you hear my prayer and listen to my plea.
I trust you to be always with me.

The day is quickly fading away.
I am unsure of what to do with the time remaining.

The Silence of a Weary Mind

Racking me with inability
What I think makes sense isn’t sensibility
My mind lies asleep.
I want to wake it to dream,
Of all the things in my life
The way they need to be
The way I would like it to turn out
My own stupidity spreads confusion
Awake o my mind
Feel the life
Let the longing of my soul be told

Watching empty days become life's summation,
Results of poor choices' storm.
My Lord makes clear to me my obligation,
Redeem the time thus change form.
Having nothing against this expectation,
My life I want to reform.
I set out to fulfill my new commission.
These actions I should preform,
But what distress is brought by comparison,
To what I try to conform,
Is far distant from my current condition.

Lonesome Association

The most popular girl in the school,
I walk through the hall surrounded,
By a large group of giggling girls.
My joyous laughter filling the hall.
Students and teachers greeting me by name.
This is my life, the world I live in.
Proving to be comfort for those who morn,
And eager to rejoice with those who celebrate.

The funny thing is what is inside.
Despite the smiles and the waves,
I really feel quiet alone.
Emotions defy reason.
Logic reigns not with my crazy soul.
While still wrapped with my own laughter,
I am looking towards the end of my day.
Just to walk alone with no people or laughter,
To find my God and enjoy His presence.
A simple time filled with love for Him

Even though I feel like crying
Can I still say I'm doing fine
So don't have to talk about the way I'm feeling.

Somewhere the world is dieing.
Somewhere the world is living.
But right here, right now, my world is not moving,
So why should I?

Confusion reigns once again
Countless times I try to untangle
The workings of my mind
The proceedings of life
Inertwindings of time
People and place
Mixed together in my mind
Disparity of guided direction
and the flow of reality

Because she wasn’t perfect

She looked beautiful when she walked my way.
Her form, her manners, faultless did they seem
Longing to make her mine each passing day
I went to venture this uncertain theme

Then, each imperfection mine eye did stress
A flawed shape of the face of too white hue
The wear of her hands and tear in her dress
A misplaced please and a missing thank you

As she fails to meet my expectation
I have else to do but sit here thinking
If only she had achieved perfection
This my mind continually brining

But my love towards her would be undue
So I walked by choosing not to pursue

The world is going round without me and that is just the way I like it to be.
Why should I be included in business and hectic life?
I’ll just sit on the side lines and watch the world go by,
Made of so many individuals seemingly lost in humanity’s rush.

It’s a good day today. Just because I am not included.

I can sit back and see with an unseeing eye,
Finding pleasure because I am not taking part.

Mystified

Time is strange in this life of mine.
I can't seem to understand his inscrutable ways.
Unassumingly he passes me by.
Evading my hold imperturbably
His character of questionable amiability.
Holding me like a child against his breast,
Then in a moment I am flung away,
Left flailing struggling to find a foothold.
But the times of lovingly stroking my hair.
Cause me to forget such instances of injustice.
Perhaps my rationality left me long ago.
but whenever I try to leave him,
He keeps pulling me back.
Though he I cannot grasp,
I am his interminable captive.

Back into the world of reality, I been flung.
I wanted to stay hidden forever,
The world wouldn't let me.
I shall hide in my corner not daring to venture out.
Concealing my thoughts in my mind,
My hopes in my chest and my words in my mouth.
As I walk around interacting with society,
My concern is for them not to see what's inside of me.
I wrangle with my emotions.
When I've got a grasp on them,
I feel victorious,
But with them running free I am bewildered.
I don't want the world to see my hurts or my cares.
Forcing my worries to cease to exist,
Pushing and prodding I censor my thoughts.
Myself...this is my greatest struggle

What the people don't know the world can't hide.

Finding puzzlements that wound their way around my thinking,
Recognizing error and misused argument each singly manipulating.
Reminded again of my own transgressed reasoning.
'Futile mind, how can I rebuke you?'
Brought to face with what is the truth,
Wanting to keep my thoughts and life in line with Thee.
Recognizing my need to live by the Spirit,
Lord, I will rely on you.

Reality

going along with the way everyone else wants the world.
In danger of slide back to where I came,
Contemplating how I would have the world run,
Comparing this to reality I find myself on the losing end.
Change is possible, but it would take someone besides me,
To bring the world's attention to reality and its disfigurement.

If you find me hiding in a corner,
Come right on over even just to say hello.
But keep in mind I don't always say just what I'm thinking.
Perhaps I'm hiding there because I'm mad at the world,
Maybe I'm simply enjoying watching the world go by.
My silent reflection might be because of busy thoughts,
Or even a flood of painful emotions.
The possibility remains,
I could be simply a little lonely.
So go ahead and give a pleasant greeting.

I just don't know and I can't seem to hear you, so you might have to speak a little louder and knock a little harder, 'cause I just don't know, and I can't seem to hear you.

Praying for a Miracle

Struck in the face with my own inability.
Why do you show me things that I can not change?
They stir up within me questions to pounder.
The answers that I have difficulty discovering,
Seem to be hidden in some strange kind of fog.
My seeking and reasoning is blind wondering.
In days gone by even I in my helplessness,
Have stood watching Your Spirit's action.
Now all I can do is to pray.
Lord, I ask for You to do it again.
Let me see another beautiful miracle.

Worry just doesn't become you.
Why let times and trails define who you are?

The Value of Work

Working as hard as the day is long,
Having tasks to be done,
And ability to complete it,
For each these blessings I thank the Lord.

Falling in bed thus ending my day,
A whispered prayer of hope,
For safety and another new day,
Turning on the clock I close my eyes.

Worn out from laboring and striving,
Bid to appreciate,
A well needed rest which surely holds,
More desired than slothful idleness .

Time is coming around again; Sneaking past in his odd way.

The passing of day shares the same feeling,
as being tapped on the shoulder,
and upon turning around,
you find no one standing anywhere near.

When you find the now in time,
Amazingly perfect,
All you want is this bit of space.
You wish your life path would keep heading,
the same direction,
But we all know the turn ahead,
Is looming in our destiny.

Taking life piece by piece,
Stumbling on a gap in the present,
trying to find the best way to use,
the moments I now possess.

Seeking Time; Finding Place

I look at busy lives all around me.
I wonder how they like the way they're living.
Standing in a world seemingly all alone
I like the way I find my life.
Simple and quiet.
I don't feel the rush dragging me along,
But I see so many who succumb to business.

What needs to be done, indeed needs to be done,
But take a moment to find and enjoy.
The quiet stillness of borrowed nothingness.

I feel so insignificant.
I am so inadequate.
I watch humanity
And I see people capable,
Of changing the world.
My flaws and imperfections,
Seem blatantly obvious.

Helpless Joy

Why is my life so bright and beautiful?
I walk alone this cheerful morning,
As I am reflecting in my mind.
I know so many people with so many troubles.
I look around at my life and it seems,
As if it were filled with golden beams.
Why is my life perfect,
And those in my world struggling to live theirs?
I feel like a hypocrite being so happy and content.
May be the good Lord doesn't think,
That I can handle the stress and the pain.
Or maybe He loves me in some miraculous way.
He shelters me, hides me, and protects me.
In this way shows His love for me.
It's not that I am complaining.
I just feel so helpless.

So many questions that I don't understand
I'm not sure of what I ought to do,
I keep on living in the same way.
Should I be chasing after answers,
Instead reflecting about questions?
I don't think I've got it right,
But am unsure of how to make it
The way it ought to be.

Rebuking My Silent Mind

When I wish it to speak,
It remains still.
When I want the silence,
It refuses to be quite.

Unsure of what to do,
I try to make it bend to my rule,
Once again my will is defied,
Challenged by the workings of my mind,
My insistence remains ignored.

All my persuasion is of no worth,
If only it would obey my degree.
Why can not I be subject to myself?

This anger inside of me,
Seeks an outlet for its frustration.
Instead, it is my turn to ignore.
I push it aside and say,
"It is irrelevant."

When moments like these come along,
And all I can see of the world is amiable and satisfactory.
The tranquility I feel is a rare appearance,
Of a hidden suitability.
When the disagreeable predicaments,
In some magical fashion all slide way,
These isolated instances of divine favor,
Are blessed opportunities.
I wish I could often choose to rest in their offered peace.

Life is full of mystery.
Facing it I look the future in the eyes.
It seems so much bigger than I.
Imposing stature, and foreboding authority
Perceiving my lack of control,
He takes advantage of my every weakness.
My body is racked with worry,
Constantly distraught with anxieties,
Almost to the point of insanity.

Trying to get a grip on my life,
Trying and failing so many times.
When I think I have it going again,
I hear another trap door swing close.
Locked in from behind,
Doors barred shut in front of me.
Blindly being pushed along,
As down a cattle chute.

The way this makes me feel is hard to tell,
But perhaps you understand,
Finding this bitter description of life all to real.

Some speak of a loving God and a guiding hand,
It's so hard to believe when fate seems so cruel.
I do admit, I have no control,
Logically, some other force must be in command.

Where are all the oddities of life?
I am seeking for something more than the norm.
Where can I find what I am looking for?

Somebody gathered up the abnormalities,
And shoved them under the bathroom rug.
Why hide from me what I so dearly love?

Victory can be hard to come by.

In all the stories of old,
I hear of tales of men fighting,
And giving everything they had,
Striving for some great victory.

Here in this modern day and world,
Should I go ahead and battle to the finish,
Like heroes worthy of storybook fame?

Is this sorry and forgotten realm,
Capable of holding such valor?
Will it do me any good to try and win,
The hand of some fair maiden by means of honesty and truth?

The victories I want to win,
They must be hard to come by,
For I see so few with what I want to obtain.
Where do I go to find what I am seeking?

Those hunters of dragons from long, long ago,
Slayers of evil, upholders of good.
I wonder if still can be found the virtues,
Which they somehow seemed to obtained.

A knight's recognition isn't my motive or intent.
Such daring courage and bold adventure,
Similar trophies would also be fitting for a lad as myself.

Whispers From The Secret Place

My most beautiful possession, my most wonderful joy,
Has been taken away from me.
In this now dark, empty world, my love for her remains,
A deep passion without a place to rest.
What was once a wonderful longing for my arms to be filled with her love,
Is now terrifying pain and a promise of never again.
My heart searches for peace but I don't want it to come.
Engulfed in misery, I have no desire to break free.
Content to stay bound by grief, for my love will never return to me.

Life in a Circle

Life goes around in a circle,
A circle of answers and their questions.
Some answers are missing questions,
And some questions are missing answers.
Though rare to find, sometimes both will be found,
Each in their own strange world.

Why does my writing hold such little meaning?

Misery

The world has become more terrible,
In some strange way.
I don't know how or why,
I woke up this morning with such a sense of dread,
But there it was standing right in front of me.
It was looking at me with the world's sharpest set of eyes.
Now I have to find my strength.
The necessity of fighting off such a monster,
Really shouldn't come before noon.
At least not without prior warning.

Contemplation on Life

Here I am, once again wondering about life.
Constantly fighting against the strife.
Arguments between me and other men,
But harder still are those amongst myself.
Reason evades attempts to harness its power.
Why this seeming impossibility,
In forcing it to chain my spirit.
Perhaps I ought to let it roam at liberty?
But which will over take the other,
Reason or my spirit?