Helpless Joy

Why is my life so bright and beautiful?
I walk alone this cheerful morning,
As I am reflecting in my mind.
I know so many people with so many troubles.
I look around at my life and it seems,
As if it were filled with golden beams.
Why is my life perfect,
And those in my world struggling to live theirs?
I feel like a hypocrite being so happy and content.
May be the good Lord doesn't think,
That I can handle the stress and the pain.
Or maybe He loves me in some miraculous way.
He shelters me, hides me, and protects me.
In this way shows His love for me.
It's not that I am complaining.
I just feel so helpless.

So many questions that I don't understand
I'm not sure of what I ought to do,
I keep on living in the same way.
Should I be chasing after answers,
Instead reflecting about questions?
I don't think I've got it right,
But am unsure of how to make it
The way it ought to be.

Rebuking My Silent Mind

When I wish it to speak,
It remains still.
When I want the silence,
It refuses to be quite.

Unsure of what to do,
I try to make it bend to my rule,
Once again my will is defied,
Challenged by the workings of my mind,
My insistence remains ignored.

All my persuasion is of no worth,
If only it would obey my degree.
Why can not I be subject to myself?

This anger inside of me,
Seeks an outlet for its frustration.
Instead, it is my turn to ignore.
I push it aside and say,
"It is irrelevant."