The Stash of the Pharaoh

At a Child's Prodding

2010-11-30T21:19:00.000-08:00

It as been so long
Since I last sang my simple song
But now I find this thought beckons me
"sing again" a timid whispered plea
once more my voice begins
and quietly ascends

You Rather Than Me

2009-09-25T06:19:00.001-07:00

Speak to me, Speak through me.
Disregard myself, overtake me.
I witness your quiet power,
Complete control in face of disaster.
Watch me as I fall apart.
Now your strength impart.

Set me aside, push me asunder.
Protect me from my own blunders.
Your wisdom greater than mine,
May it be my guide and sign.
I submit myself to follow you.
Don't let me cease to ensue.

2009-09-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

The days go by and I forget about life,
Asking myself is this what I live for?
I want to be on your side.
Not satisfied I'm wanting more.
Here's my life take it and make it.
Whatever it should to be.

Impatent Boredom

2009-08-10T13:52:00.000-07:00

Impatience reigning here tonight.
Finding endless boredom while I wait.
Seems today I fail to appreciate,
The nothingness I often want.
Not knowing from where it came,
Why it's here is a mystery the same.
I seek to disown the unwelcomed name,
Of this the ungrateful wretch.

Waiting

2009-08-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Once again I find myself waiting.
Within my soul I hear debating,
Has the Lord, my God, forgotten me?
Why so long and still I'm yet to see,
Here is the hope I trust, God still reigns.
The power of His great love remains.
If only this truth would penetrate,
And thus relieve my worry bound state.
Let's cast away our cares and worries,
By offering wholehearted praises.
Thus rejoicing in the truth we know,
Our focus rather than here below,
Is moved to eternal heights above.
And there we find our King's faithful love.

The Way I See It.

2009-07-29T14:34:00.001-07:00

Whatever it takes, wherever I am going,
Lack of dreams, motivation not bestowing,
Life will be just as it comes about.
All such lives take this same route,
Ending unaccomplished, unadorned,
Every mentor thus forewarns.
But each to his own realities,
I float in endless possibilities.

Etched Across the Sky

2009-07-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Caught in a world of nothingness.
I stand in the emptiness.
Worries tossed aside,
My soul rises up to glide,
Soaring above horizon's clouds.
Seen in the sunrise's shrouds,
I've found the glory of my King's delight.

2009-07-23T05:06:00.000-07:00

Your way doesn't always make sense,
But I will trust your direction.

Your wisdom, in its great expanse,
Intensifies my vain foolishness.

The world You created full of beauty,
Brings to mind my endless insufficiency.

I find myself at the wrong end of life,
Far from where I want to be.

Coming to grips with my inability,
Forced to search beyond myself.

Only in this state of helplessness,
Can inadequacies be changed to sufficiency.

Here I met with the work of Christ,
By His power made victorious.

The guidance of the Lord leads me,
As I submit to follow Him.

The blood of my Savior changes my existence,
Seen as perfect before the Lord.

Still I live my life,
Struggling to make it right.

But now given confidence,
His work will be sure.

I trust the faithfulness of my Lord.
He will take me where I need to go.

Though oft I can not see,
While darkness surrounds me.

I hear the promises of God so I know,
I will come to be where I need to go.

Here Another Day

2009-07-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

Here is another day that I am to live.
Ordinary and routine both wrapped around me.
I forget to look for everyday miracles.
Time dragging on so slowly.
Pulling towards the end of this today.
Continuing even now is the same boring monotony,
Monotony of yet the same thing over and over again.

Mistakes

2009-07-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

The worst thing about living in this world is what I forget to say.
Words left unsaid because of fear or lack of motivation.
Things left undone because I argue and dig for myself a way out.
I refuse to let it happen again today but I know it will anyway.
The sanctifying work the Lord is completing in me,
Is so far from being completed. Yet I know by faith I will continue to grow.
May my foolishness be finally overcome by God's great grace.
His mercy sustains me and I will boldly say,
"Jesus is Lord and besides Him there is no other way!"

2009-07-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

Father, I need you.
Yes, it is true, I am in need of you.
Deliver me O, my Lord.
My Savior, forever,

Created to Love You

2009-07-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

So often I get it all wrong.
Finding myself worrying too long.
Focusing on getting things done.
Distracted by all I've begun.
Times like these I need reminded,
Again Lord, of what I just did.
Service and sacrifice placed above
The importance of love.

Created to give you my love.
I'm bought by my Redeemer's blood.
I turn my thoughts to the Most High.
What He always will supply
Is my delight, found in Him.
Let my focus forever dwell,
On my Lord's holy character.

2009-07-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

The world is crying out, can you not hear it?
My world screaming loudly in my ear,
Do I dare ignore it?
Asking what I do not know,
What am I to do?
Lord help me follow you.

When figuring out life ceases to be important

2009-07-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

O Lord, I long for quiet in my soul.
To trust in you this I have been told.
I try to close my eyes and let it slide,
It just doesn't seem to work tonight.
The worries of the world don't seem to hinder me.
I just don't know.
This is the reality
That has brought disharmony.

2009-07-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

A new day begins start it right by going slow.
Let all the rush and worry slide below.
Lifting my voice my God I seek.
Direct my paths empower me who is weak.
From Your Word I find needed wisdom,
And gain discernment for life under the sun.
Striving to live for the glory of my King,
Success only His grace to me can bring.

2009-07-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

2009-06-30T05:39:00.000-07:00

Another day gone by.
Searching my mind to find,
Any usefulness it may posses.
Was yesterday simply wasted away?
I am determined before the end of today,
I will accomplish something to distinguish it,
From countless useless days.

I Need to Trust in You

2009-06-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

I find myself worrying
And wondering about life.
What is there ahead of me?
Where will life take me to be?
How can I prepare for uncertainty?
This day spent reflecting...
Things that might become reality.
I am wasting my day.

I turn to the Lord,
Seeking peace and joy.
Father, rescue me from where I am.
Bring me closer to who I need to become.
Give me Your wisdom for living today.
May I not trust my plans for tomorrow,
But rather reveal those You have for me.
Teach me how to live them out.

2009-05-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

Questions brought up in life.
I am searching for an answer.
This is the difficulty,
I really don't know.
Or perhaps that isn't true.
Maybe I really do know.
Am I just deceiving myself?
This is to me a mystery.
I continue the struggle
Trying to find out.
Searching within myself.
Seeking an answer,
To satisfy each new question.

2009-05-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

He is always with me wherever I go.
Guide me to where I need to be.
I will follow where He leads.
My Lord has promised to me,
His deliverance and victory.
In this I find my joy and hope,
My Lord has said to me,
"I delight in you."
Hear the words he speaks to you.

2009-05-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

Jesus I need you.
I need you today,
and again tomorrow.
You were here for me yesterday
and have proven yourself again throughout the morning.
I know you hear my prayer and listen to my plea.
I trust you to be always with me.

2009-05-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

The day is quickly fading away.
I am unsure of what to do with the time remaining.

The Silence of a Weary Mind

2009-05-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

Racking me with inability
What I think makes sense isn’t sensibility
My mind lies asleep.
I want to wake it to dream,
Of all the things in my life
The way they need to be
The way I would like it to turn out
My own stupidity spreads confusion
Awake o my mind
Feel the life
Let the longing of my soul be told

2009-05-05T18:51:00.000-07:00

Watching empty days become life's summation,
Results of poor choices' storm.
My Lord makes clear to me my obligation,
Redeem the time thus change form.
Having nothing against this expectation,
My life I want to reform.
I set out to fulfill my new commission.
These actions I should preform,
But what distress is brought by comparison,
To what I try to conform,
Is far distant from my current condition.

Lonesome Association

2009-05-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

The most popular girl in the school,
I walk through the hall surrounded,
By a large group of giggling girls.
My joyous laughter filling the hall.
Students and teachers greeting me by name.
This is my life, the world I live in.
Proving to be comfort for those who morn,
And eager to rejoice with those who celebrate.

The funny thing is what is inside.
Despite the smiles and the waves,
I really feel quiet alone.
Emotions defy reason.
Logic reigns not with my crazy soul.
While still wrapped with my own laughter,
I am looking towards the end of my day.
Just to walk alone with no people or laughter,
To find my God and enjoy His presence.
A simple time filled with love for Him

2009-04-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

Even though I feel like crying
Can I still say I'm doing fine
So don't have to talk about the way I'm feeling.

2009-04-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Somewhere the world is dieing.
Somewhere the world is living.
But right here, right now, my world is not moving,
So why should I?

2009-04-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Confusion reigns once again
Countless times I try to untangle
The workings of my mind
The proceedings of life
Inertwindings of time
People and place
Mixed together in my mind
Disparity of guided direction
and the flow of reality

Because she wasn’t perfect

2009-04-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

She looked beautiful when she walked my way.
Her form, her manners, faultless did they seem
Longing to make her mine each passing day
I went to venture this uncertain theme

Then, each imperfection mine eye did stress
A flawed shape of the face of too white hue
The wear of her hands and tear in her dress
A misplaced please and a missing thank you

As she fails to meet my expectation
I have else to do but sit here thinking
If only she had achieved perfection
This my mind continually brining

But my love towards her would be undue
So I walked by choosing not to pursue

2009-04-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

The world is going round without me and that is just the way I like it to be.
Why should I be included in business and hectic life?
I’ll just sit on the side lines and watch the world go by,
Made of so many individuals seemingly lost in humanity’s rush.

It’s a good day today. Just because I am not included.

I can sit back and see with an unseeing eye,
Finding pleasure because I am not taking part.

Mystified

2009-04-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

Time is strange in this life of mine.
I can't seem to understand his inscrutable ways.
Unassumingly he passes me by.
Evading my hold imperturbably
His character of questionable amiability.
Holding me like a child against his breast,
Then in a moment I am flung away,
Left flailing struggling to find a foothold.
But the times of lovingly stroking my hair.
Cause me to forget such instances of injustice.
Perhaps my rationality left me long ago.
but whenever I try to leave him,
He keeps pulling me back.
Though he I cannot grasp,
I am his interminable captive.

2009-04-06T12:14:00.000-07:00

Back into the world of reality, I been flung.
I wanted to stay hidden forever,
The world wouldn't let me.
I shall hide in my corner not daring to venture out.
Concealing my thoughts in my mind,
My hopes in my chest and my words in my mouth.
As I walk around interacting with society,
My concern is for them not to see what's inside of me.
I wrangle with my emotions.
When I've got a grasp on them,
I feel victorious,
But with them running free I am bewildered.
I don't want the world to see my hurts or my cares.
Forcing my worries to cease to exist,
Pushing and prodding I censor my thoughts.
Myself...this is my greatest struggle

What the people don't know the world can't hide.

2009-04-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

2009-04-01T05:40:00.000-07:00

Finding puzzlements that wound their way around my thinking,
Recognizing error and misused argument each singly manipulating.
Reminded again of my own transgressed reasoning.
'Futile mind, how can I rebuke you?'
Brought to face with what is the truth,
Wanting to keep my thoughts and life in line with Thee.
Recognizing my need to live by the Spirit,
Lord, I will rely on you.

Reality

2009-03-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

going along with the way everyone else wants the world.
In danger of slide back to where I came,
Contemplating how I would have the world run,
Comparing this to reality I find myself on the losing end.
Change is possible, but it would take someone besides me,
To bring the world's attention to reality and its disfigurement.

2009-03-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

If you find me hiding in a corner,
Come right on over even just to say hello.
But keep in mind I don't always say just what I'm thinking.
Perhaps I'm hiding there because I'm mad at the world,
Maybe I'm simply enjoying watching the world go by.
My silent reflection might be because of busy thoughts,
Or even a flood of painful emotions.
The possibility remains,
I could be simply a little lonely.
So go ahead and give a pleasant greeting.

2009-03-25T05:14:00.000-07:00

I just don't know and I can't seem to hear you, so you might have to speak a little louder and knock a little harder, 'cause I just don't know, and I can't seem to hear you.

Praying for a Miracle

2009-03-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Struck in the face with my own inability.
Why do you show me things that I can not change?
They stir up within me questions to pounder.
The answers that I have difficulty discovering,
Seem to be hidden in some strange kind of fog.
My seeking and reasoning is blind wondering.
In days gone by even I in my helplessness,
Have stood watching Your Spirit's action.
Now all I can do is to pray.
Lord, I ask for You to do it again.
Let me see another beautiful miracle.

2009-03-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Worry just doesn't become you.
Why let times and trails define who you are?

The Value of Work

2009-03-21T04:34:00.000-07:00

Working as hard as the day is long,
Having tasks to be done,
And ability to complete it,
For each these blessings I thank the Lord.

Falling in bed thus ending my day,
A whispered prayer of hope,
For safety and another new day,
Turning on the clock I close my eyes.

Worn out from laboring and striving,
Bid to appreciate,
A well needed rest which surely holds,
More desired than slothful idleness .

Time is coming around again; Sneaking past in his odd way.

2009-03-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

The passing of day shares the same feeling,
as being tapped on the shoulder,
and upon turning around,
you find no one standing anywhere near.

When you find the now in time,
Amazingly perfect,
All you want is this bit of space.
You wish your life path would keep heading,
the same direction,
But we all know the turn ahead,
Is looming in our destiny.

Taking life piece by piece,
Stumbling on a gap in the present,
trying to find the best way to use,
the moments I now possess.

Seeking Time; Finding Place

2009-03-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

I look at busy lives all around me.
I wonder how they like the way they're living.
Standing in a world seemingly all alone
I like the way I find my life.
Simple and quiet.
I don't feel the rush dragging me along,
But I see so many who succumb to business.

What needs to be done, indeed needs to be done,
But take a moment to find and enjoy.
The quiet stillness of borrowed nothingness.

2009-03-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

I feel so insignificant.
I am so inadequate.
I watch humanity
And I see people capable,
Of changing the world.
My flaws and imperfections,
Seem blatantly obvious.

Helpless Joy

2009-03-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

Why is my life so bright and beautiful?
I walk alone this cheerful morning,
As I am reflecting in my mind.
I know so many people with so many troubles.
I look around at my life and it seems,
As if it were filled with golden beams.
Why is my life perfect,
And those in my world struggling to live theirs?
I feel like a hypocrite being so happy and content.
May be the good Lord doesn't think,
That I can handle the stress and the pain.
Or maybe He loves me in some miraculous way.
He shelters me, hides me, and protects me.
In this way shows His love for me.
It's not that I am complaining.
I just feel so helpless.

2009-03-09T03:16:00.000-07:00

So many questions that I don't understand
I'm not sure of what I ought to do,
I keep on living in the same way.
Should I be chasing after answers,
Instead reflecting about questions?
I don't think I've got it right,
But am unsure of how to make it
The way it ought to be.

Rebuking My Silent Mind

2009-03-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

When I wish it to speak,
It remains still.
When I want the silence,
It refuses to be quite.

Unsure of what to do,
I try to make it bend to my rule,
Once again my will is defied,
Challenged by the workings of my mind,
My insistence remains ignored.

All my persuasion is of no worth,
If only it would obey my degree.
Why can not I be subject to myself?

This anger inside of me,
Seeks an outlet for its frustration.
Instead, it is my turn to ignore.
I push it aside and say,
"It is irrelevant."

2009-03-02T05:56:00.000-08:00

When moments like these come along,
And all I can see of the world is amiable and satisfactory.
The tranquility I feel is a rare appearance,
Of a hidden suitability.
When the disagreeable predicaments,
In some magical fashion all slide way,
These isolated instances of divine favor,
Are blessed opportunities.
I wish I could often choose to rest in their offered peace.

2009-02-28T10:13:00.000-08:00

Life is full of mystery.
Facing it I look the future in the eyes.
It seems so much bigger than I.
Imposing stature, and foreboding authority
Perceiving my lack of control,
He takes advantage of my every weakness.
My body is racked with worry,
Constantly distraught with anxieties,
Almost to the point of insanity.

Trying to get a grip on my life,
Trying and failing so many times.
When I think I have it going again,
I hear another trap door swing close.
Locked in from behind,
Doors barred shut in front of me.
Blindly being pushed along,
As down a cattle chute.

The way this makes me feel is hard to tell,
But perhaps you understand,
Finding this bitter description of life all to real.

Some speak of a loving God and a guiding hand,
It's so hard to believe when fate seems so cruel.
I do admit, I have no control,
Logically, some other force must be in command.

2009-02-25T06:51:00.000-08:00

Where are all the oddities of life?
I am seeking for something more than the norm.
Where can I find what I am looking for?

Somebody gathered up the abnormalities,
And shoved them under the bathroom rug.
Why hide from me what I so dearly love?

Victory can be hard to come by.

2009-02-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

In all the stories of old,
I hear of tales of men fighting,
And giving everything they had,
Striving for some great victory.

Here in this modern day and world,
Should I go ahead and battle to the finish,
Like heroes worthy of storybook fame?

Is this sorry and forgotten realm,
Capable of holding such valor?
Will it do me any good to try and win,
The hand of some fair maiden by means of honesty and truth?

The victories I want to win,
They must be hard to come by,
For I see so few with what I want to obtain.
Where do I go to find what I am seeking?

Those hunters of dragons from long, long ago,
Slayers of evil, upholders of good.
I wonder if still can be found the virtues,
Which they somehow seemed to obtained.

A knight's recognition isn't my motive or intent.
Such daring courage and bold adventure,
Similar trophies would also be fitting for a lad as myself.

Whispers From The Secret Place

2009-02-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

My most beautiful possession, my most wonderful joy,
Has been taken away from me.
In this now dark, empty world, my love for her remains,
A deep passion without a place to rest.
What was once a wonderful longing for my arms to be filled with her love,
Is now terrifying pain and a promise of never again.
My heart searches for peace but I don't want it to come.
Engulfed in misery, I have no desire to break free.
Content to stay bound by grief, for my love will never return to me.

Life in a Circle

2009-02-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

Life goes around in a circle,
A circle of answers and their questions.
Some answers are missing questions,
And some questions are missing answers.
Though rare to find, sometimes both will be found,
Each in their own strange world.

2009-01-10T12:18:00.000-08:00

Why does my writing hold such little meaning?

Misery

2009-01-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

The world has become more terrible,
In some strange way.
I don't know how or why,
I woke up this morning with such a sense of dread,
But there it was standing right in front of me.
It was looking at me with the world's sharpest set of eyes.
Now I have to find my strength.
The necessity of fighting off such a monster,
Really shouldn't come before noon.
At least not without prior warning.

Contemplation on Life

2009-01-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

Here I am, once again wondering about life.
Constantly fighting against the strife.
Arguments between me and other men,
But harder still are those amongst myself.
Reason evades attempts to harness its power.
Why this seeming impossibility,
In forcing it to chain my spirit.
Perhaps I ought to let it roam at liberty?
But which will over take the other,
Reason or my spirit?

Life is Full of Mystery

2008-12-08T09:59:00.001-08:00

2008-11-11T16:36:00.000-08:00

Life is a dark mysterious man.
Facing him I look into the eyes of the future.
He seems so much bigger than I.
Imposing stature, and foreboding authority.

Perceiving my lack of control,
He takes advantage of my every weakness.
My body is racked with worry,
Constantly distraught with anxieties,
Almost to the point of insanity.

Trying to get a grip on my life,
Trying and failing so many times.
When I think I have it going again,
I hear another trap door swing close.

I cry to the Lord
“Liberate me, my Father”
He hears my pray.
Reaching down He delivers me.
I will depend on Him, relying on His Spirit.

Remember Me When You Disappear.

2008-11-08T05:31:00.001-08:00

As you find out what life is all about,
Don’t leave me hanging here.
I need to know just as much as you.

Becoming invisible to the searching world,
After thinking you found it all out,
This cruelty might bring a martyr’s death.
If only we could find you to kill you.

Strangely Inspired

2008-10-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

Sitting here on this day with nothing running through my head, seeking inspiration to write.

Wanting someone to come and stir my mind with an intriguing factor of life.

Seemingly forever, as I wait, I try to write.

Attempts not worthy of notice are here engraved.

Whether you read or take to heart...

What it would be I do not know.

Where it could be found I am uncertain.

But here is what I have to offer,

In this strange world.

2008-10-24T10:10:00.001-07:00

I stand above a crowd of people,
Looking for your face amidst them all.

Searching back and forth,
My eyes wandering from person to person.
Wanting to see you, a longing I can't explain,
Would be satisfied with just one look,
Only enough to know you are alright.
Are you still alive and doing good?
It has been so long now, since I saw you last.

So many people walk by, but you are not in the group.
I am about ready to give up.
But there is still a chance you might walk past.
So I stay and wait.
It seems like every hope is gone when someone catches my eye,
With eager anticipation I turn to look,
But it is not who I was watching for.

Disappointment fills my heart. I start to walk away,
But then I realize maybe he needs ministered to.
Changing my course to walk past a lonely man sitting by the door.
I stoop to greet him, then we both stand to talk.
Visiting by gone days and discussing life,
Minutes fade away and walking together we leave the place.

A backward glance tells me the one I came to see,
still isn't there.

Life

2008-10-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

Going so slowly my heart threatens to break
Questioning timing and long coming answers.
Am I even living any kind of a life?

Carrying on so quickly that I can barely stay on.
Doubting control and finding my strength unreliable.
Will this storm I am living in ever come to cease?

It seems like they are all the same.
It seems like it doesn't matter.
But in reality they are all different,
Each possessing significance.

Living it out

2008-10-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

I know what I believe,
But am I remembering to live it out?

Analyze my actions,
Criticize my endeavors,
Make clear to me where I fail.

I cry to the Lord,
He will give me strength.
My confidence is sure,
I am becoming who I ought to be.

When I Learn a Sad Song ; You'll be the First Person I Sing It to.

2008-10-08T05:50:00.000-07:00

You have stood by me all this time.
Never leaving me for anyone else.
Your faithfulness and love both clearly seen.

Who I am is so turned around.
Some times you hold me while I cry.
You comfort me when I weep.

The very next day, you find me rejoicing,
So you dance with me,
Delighting in the beauty of the day.

Seemingly twisted by confusion,
With my head bent towards the ground,
I am examining the world.

You question my questions.
Double checking my reasoning.
Try and make sure my head is on straight.

While we survey the scenery,
Pointing out discrepancies,
You show me how things are not what they are.

In noticing trivial things,
And appreciating simplicity,
My gladness brings you pleasure.

Pointing me in the right direction,
So I the way I am facing,
Might agree with the way I ought to go.

The life we live together,
Can in no way be better
Than what you are making it be.

Writing for the Lord

2008-10-05T12:11:00.001-07:00

When I sit down to write,
I want You to be pleased with what I type.
So, tell me Lord, How am I doing?
Do the words that I speak,
And the thoughts that I think,
Do they praise Your name?
Am I falling short of the goal,
The one You, my Lord, set before me?
If only I could know.
As I keep on trying, I'll continue striving,
To glorify my Lord.

2008-10-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Falling down, Falling down,

This is the world around me.

Rising up, Rising up,

This is the way I want to go.

Here I am trying to find out,
How to be who I want to be.

None Other Than My Savior

2008-09-28T01:36:00.000-07:00

There is none other than my Savior,
On whom I will rely.
In days of chaos and long tired nights,
There is one to whom I will turn.
Having every certainty,
That He is always there.

2008-09-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

Thrown into indecision,
I am standing in uncertainty.
Not sure how to find out,
The answers to my questions.
Whom can I trust and where can I go?
Finding myself thus,
All I can do is trust.
Trust that it will all work out,
And the world won't spin out of control.
Maybe they are right,
Perhaps it doesn't matter after all.
Both paths seem as fair,
Each with their own difficulties.
Is there a right and is there a wrong?
Let the hand of God guide me through it all.

Why would insanity be a decent explanation for anything?

2008-09-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

2008-09-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

Roaming around seeking a place to stand
Wondering how I fit in.
Trying to find where I belong.
In this moment realizing,
My discrepancy,
In trying to find where
I can serve
Rather than looking to see
Who is in need of what I can give.

Standing Together

2008-09-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

There are so many things needing done.
How can I find the strength to do them all?
Why can't I get the world to rise with me?
If you all stood and joined in my pursuit,
Together we would stand and make a difference.
Why do so many people need to be rallied,
Rather than eagerly standing in wait,
Seeking a chance to volunteer and save their world?
Where did they go? Those days of glory?
When bold men and upright women served the Lord.
Today is no different so why must we search?
It should be easy to find those eager to serve.
Is it distraction, embarrassment, or uncertainty?
What this world needs is a leader.
A leader to stand for righteousness,
Boldly proclaiming the gospel,
In words and in deeds.
This is not more then I should expect,
Rather the essence of a Christian nation.

Haiku 8017j

2008-09-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ, God's Son
In Him salvation is found
Believe and be saved

Living a Life for Christ

2008-09-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

Wanting to serve the Lord,
All I have to do is look around.
I will find a corner of the world,
That needs to feel God's touch.
It is enough for me to follow,
The gentle prompting of God's Spirit.

Worry not what the world might think,
Focus on what your Lord has to say.
I offer all to Christ who is my Master.
But do not think He will not take and use,
What I have given Him.

Willing to offer ready to serve,
Lord let this be how I am to be.

The gentle breathing of the Spirit,
Fills my life full of meaning.
If only I were to listen,
Every moment that I live.
I ask for trust and obedience,
That I might obey God's law.

After 7 Years It Is Still Here

2008-09-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

To those affected by the terrorist attack against the United States of America on September 11, 2001.

May you never forget God's grace and mercy.

9/11 must not be forgotten.
The past can not be buried.
Happenings so real they can not be erased.

2008-09-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

All that comes to mind
are silly ditties
and old hymns.
Lost in a mindless fog,
Sitting here thinking,
Reflecting empty thoughts,
I am wondering about this new day.

What will it bring?
And what will I give?
Which part am I to play?

2008-09-07T16:50:00.000-07:00

"I want to make a difference in this world." Spoken in a soft quiet voice, the little girl told her mother. "I don't want anyone who knew me to be the same after I die." In a way she is right nobody can forget what my little girl did, not now and not ever. They might not remember her name or where she came from. They may never know why she did what she did, but no one who saw her can ever be the same. She didn't rush into a burning building to save a cat. She didn't run in front of a speeding car to pull an old lady out of the path of danger. My little girl, she never saved the world by making some miraculous discovery. There will never be a planet named after her. There won't be any books written to tell the world her story. She wasn't ever anybody famous nor did she become the first to do any marvelous thing. She wasn't a queen or president. Yet her field of influence was indeed very wide and it will stretch beyond many generations. My little girl was so quiet and so simple, it was amazing, shocking really that she will always be remembered in such away.

2008-09-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

Fighting a longing to be in control of my life.
Knowing that I can never be,
I seek to know the one who is.
I thank God for each event,
That is called coincidence
Knowing he is directing affairs of man.
Seemingly insignificant things,
Prove to me God's love.

Today's Madness

2008-09-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

Rushing along at a maddening speed
I see people literally running over each other.
Why is the world like this?
I find a solitary place where I can sit and watch
From where I feel safe.
But why should I?
I occupy a part of this this world
How can I be an exception.
As I ponder this thought I see a man walk by.
Totally absorbed by his own silence,
He doesn't hear shuffling footsteps coming up behind him.
There is momentary hesitation before the shuffler walks past.
On their busy way to somewhere they don't take the time notice.
Neither realizes the other.
They have never met but they pass each other everyday.
Should that not be enough, even just to cause momentary acknowledgment?
What is it about this world?
It makes people ashamed, ashamed of themselves.
Despite never having begun they fear consequences.
Consequences that do not exist.
Why should we be worried about how we are perceived?
What is being thought of us has more to do with the one who thinks it,
And less to do with the one who is being thought of.
Smiles that taken more then one way,
Motives that are questioned,
And thoughts that fail to make sence,
All add to the world of confusion.

A Whisper of Peace

2008-09-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

I feel it spreading over the land,
Reaching every corner of my world.
It is peace, it is indeed peace.
Why can't it stay this way?
War and famine, in a constant circle of strife.
It seems that it would be so easy,
But the truth of that statement is so far away.

2008-09-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

My heart bleeds for you.
My soul longs for you.
Why can’t you see?
Open your eyes, behold His glory.
Open your heart, your mind, know His love.
His power surrounds you.
A tool in His hands, He uses you.
Through you great things are done.
Look around, see His love.
Know and recognize His provision,
Which you supply.
To those you greet, His love is shown.
His wonders surround you.
You are immersed in Him,
His glory, power, love and victory.
Yet you can not see,
Can not perceive,
Nor come to know,
These wonders in your life.
You have not been chosen,
Wonders not revealed.
My intercession continues;
I will not cease;
Pouring my heart out for you,
Begging, praying, asking,
Heartlessly crying for your soul.

A Prayer to the Father/ A Sunday Prayer

2008-08-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

What do you want me to say
Who do you want me to tell
Longing to glorify your name
Wanting to lift you up
Let the world see you
Let them see you through me
Make my life all it can be
Making me live all for you
May you be praised this very day
Let my deeds praise the Lord

2008-08-30T07:02:00.001-07:00

Thinking I am going crazy
I chose to stand up and sing
Singing with all that I am
Drowning out all of me
I am afraid to stop
Fearing that I’ll see
Who I am again

2008-08-28T03:57:00.000-07:00

Today exists, but is that all?
Am I truly living my life,
Or do I simply react to others deeds?
Am I letting random people dictate who I am?
Is the world pushing me around,
Each making me do whatever he pleases?
Or am I serving in love and humility

Worship

2008-08-27T04:11:00.000-07:00

Christ is Lord over me
Seeking meaning to apply
I see Him in control
His rules I obey
Asking Him to dictate my life

In serving my King
Longing all to belong to Him
Taken from myself
My Savior saved me
From my own nature

Making me Thine
You, my God and Creator
Having power over everything
Control my life
Gratefully I surrender

With thanksgiving I come
Before the throne
Of the Almighty God
To sing His praises
And bring glory to His name

Haiku 7014d

2008-08-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

Beauty hid from view
Uncover the mystery
Christ Jesus reveals

Lost in this world

2008-08-25T05:56:00.000-07:00

Not knowing where I should be going
Gates open and shut; pushing me along
Should I have? Or shouldn’t I have?
It fails to matter, it is already done.
My life is going past with only one choice.
Here and now, what will I do?
What will I say and what will I think?
Only for this moment can we decide.

Yesterday, already lived, we can’t live again
Tomorrow, not promised to us, is just a hope.
But today is the reality, in which we are living.

2008-08-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

Words, they seem so empty.
Spoken with a meaning I may not recognize,
I interpret yours amiss,
And you see mine with different meaning.
What is heard and what is spoken,
Is often not the same.
Sometimes speaking becomes nothing more,
than an exchange of confusion.

2008-08-23T03:57:00.000-07:00

God's Glory, God's Glory Great
It is all seen here
With eyes unclear
Pour your spirit upon me
Wrap your love around me
Let my everything be for you
May all I do prove you as true

God's Provision

2008-08-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

"I will set up shepherds over them who will feed them; and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, nor shall they be lacking,” says the LORD. Jemimah 23:4

Complete and total sufficiency,
All things provided,
In such a wonderful way,
The hand of God in the midst of it all.
Specific dictations,
Showing His great love.

When I say it isn’t right but thank God she didn't die.

2008-08-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

When I say it isn’t right
But thank God she didn’t die.

These happenings seem so unreal
I know I am not in charge of the world

I am no one why do I try and define justice?
I realize I ought not to be but my mind refuses to stop.

I so many places I find myself pointing out faults and blemishes,

Seeing hurting family’s and struggling sons,
Wandering daughters far from home.

I wonder, why am I so critical?
What good is noticing so many wrongs?
All I can do is beg and plead for a change
Lacking control over even one single thing

I want to live my life bringing hope
Somehow finding a way
To right a good many wrongs

2008-08-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have to tell you something, but I am not sure how to begin. You see, I am not anyone important and I am afraid that there is no one listening to what I say. Empty stares and heartless eyes are peering down at me. They make me fear. I am not sure what I am afraid of and none of it makes sense. The one thing that I do know for sure is that my fear is real. How can you be certain of even that? You may ask. I don’t even know, I don’t even know that, but see my hands, how they shake, see how white I am, feel the trembling of my soul. You refuse to believe me even as I say I am afraid. Why should I go on, knowing that you would not believe what I have to say? My fear keeps me silent. Why was I chosen to bear this message? Why must I be the one to speak? Make someone else! Someone else has to do it because I can’t.
“But you’re carrying on all this time surely you can say what you mean.”
I’m afraid I can’t. This fear has left me paralyzed.

And with that he left and ran away… It seemed strange that such a small boy would interrupt my quiet evening with a knock upon my door. I wonder what it was that he had in mind to say.

2008-08-11T15:57:00.001-07:00

Time heals all wounds;
But not the one inside of me.

You say I’m wrong,
You say just wait,
Well I am, I have,
But the pain is still the same.

It is pushing me down.
I feel like I could just cease,
And stop living.

I hate this constant fight.

2008-08-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

Lord, I love you
some may think that is a foolish thing to say
my actions often deny those very words
God is faithful
though I may try to leave Him
He will always chase me down
God is truth
despite my lies God's word is proven
God is just
Even as I am swayed and biased
God is love
When I struggle not to hate
My words are far from perfection
My life and God's character always disagree
My ugliness, His great beauty
Only by God's grace am I forgiven
If you see any good in me it is not from myself
May God be glorified

The Way It Is

2008-08-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

Do I have it all wrong again?
Just let me know so I can rewind my life.
We’ll start all over, way back from the beginning,
I will try to get it right this time.

Even if I mess up the second chance,
I’ll go back a third time for another opportunity;
To live my life a different way.

Again and again the cycle could continue.

Do you really believe, that you can dictate the universe?
You who are but a solitary person,
Whether chance or a greater being,
Put you in this place,
What power have you acquired?
That you may be the one
To determine your destiny.

Haiku 7029n

2008-08-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

Through forgotten night
Light penetrating the darkness
Casts out its madness

Life Without Simplicity: A Sonnet

2008-08-06T21:13:00.000-07:00

I looked at my life only to perceive
That it invited chaos to amass
Wanting rest from so much strife and to leave
My legacy on plain colored canvas
I asked how to live in a simple way
All I received was quotes from men of old
What our nation can no longer portray,
That sacred object, I can not behold.
Should I struggle to find what was found dead?
Could they all be wrong, might it still exist?
Seeking simplicity I gained instead
Increased chaos I had tried to resist
Now a lost art, none knowing the old skill
Unfilled my life remains wanting still.

2008-08-05T06:32:00.000-07:00

He said here this is your salvation.
I said No, refusing to believe,
But God said Yes,
And changed my heart.

Because He Loved Me

2008-08-04T04:39:00.000-07:00

God made a way,
At a great, great cost.
Deserving death,
What I had earned,
Was separation,
For eternity.
God showed me His love.
He came to earth,
And died in my place.
After three days,
In a grave,
Christ returned to life.

My Inability

2008-08-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Separated from God’s goodness,
Unable to correct or hide my error,
So in love with the way I am,
That even if I could, I wouldn’t try.

2008-08-01T19:55:00.001-07:00

Well, my first survey is over. The great thing is that someone actually took the time to vote. This also implies that at least one person might occasionally read my posts, so thank you whoever you are. Any way, the question was "What is simplicity?" The four choices were: 1) Lack of complexity, 2) A specific trait something can have, 3) An art that is lost in America, 4) The state of being plain. The response that I got that simplicity is an art that is lost in America. Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment. Hopefully within the next week or so I will write a post on 'Life Without Simplicity' be sure to watch for it.

Me and God

2008-08-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

I am lowly and filled with imperfections.
If I were to stand with God,
His courts would no longer be spotless,
So, I can not be with the King.
God said here is where you need to be,
And in my sin I came thus,
Far from God’s holiness.
God, set apart from man’s wickedness,
We can not see His glory,
Or dwell in His presence.