I am abnormal that is part of what makes me a normal human being.

Is Yesterday Gone Forever?

While reflecting on what I did,
I remembered how I had lived.
I had the capability;
There was a possibility.
The memories of yesterday,
Would have been the stunning bouquet,
That love and gratitude creates.
What agony my soul awaits,
In knowing that my arrogance,
Was the of cause such a grievance.
I not only stole someone's joy,
But it was my goal to destroy.
I wanted to wipe out gladness.
I was possessed by such madness,
Because my life was full of pain.
It was what I could not obtain,
That I most begrudged another.
Bits of truth I should have gathered,
Long before today's reflection.
Despite anyone's objection,
I can not change the things I've done.
The new day that has now begun,
Sealed my past and mistakes they bind,
Eternally brought to my mind.
Though guarded from interjection,
Contemplation brought correction.
Yesterday both dead and alive.
Bond by time yet still will provide,
Didactic rebuke full of truth.

Haiku 708d

Right and Wrong confused
Human life lost eternally
Chirst our only hope

Just burry me in Africa

I look around me. Every thing is just too busy… coming to and fro, forgetting all about the basics of life, love, work, and live. I watch my world falling off the lap of luxury. I hold my breathe waiting for it to shatter on the ground. Watching my world teeter on the edge, my eyes threatening to pop from my head. My world is so much bigger than I. Daring not to try and grab it I am forced to watch helpless. Slipping further down, it settles on the rim. I venture a quiet breath. Will it stay? Do I want to live in a world tilted to one side?

I look up, across the room. I see another world. Despite the violence and disease, looking past all the death, I see a different life, a quiet life fighting to survive in a world of modernization. Seemingly a little speck, inconsequential, yet at the same time infinitely important. With pressure from all sides it begins to bend, “No, Stop!” I hear myself scream. Does it obey my voice or simply resist of its own free will?
Simplicity is dying, I don’t want to watch, but it will soon be gone. If I ever want to see it again I must find a way to save the day. Such an awesome responsibility for one so young.

This story is just an attempt to hold to the light my own soul, so that I might examine it. In order that I might know the way I am to go.

My course has already been plotted out. I know where I think I’m going but I’m not so sure.

God's Delight

He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me
Psalm 18:19

What would I need so that I could praise my King?
Riches, Fame, Health, Family, Prosperity,
Indeed none of these cause me to praise,
Though in each I am grateful, thanking my creator.
The Lord gives good to those He pleases,
To some sees fit to give misfortune and misery.
I shall not judge my Lord,
Saying what ought not to be done.
I look and see his delight and love for me.
I can not look at my self without shame,
But God, He delights in me!
For this reason I will praise my King.
God delivered me, because I brought Him joy.
How? I don't even care to ask,
It is enough to know that it is so.
God delights in me!

If I were to know, where would I go?

If I could see my beginning and my end, what would I change?
How would it effect the choices I made, if I could see who would I be?
I pray, "may it be shown to me," but is this what I really want?
My lack of sight allows me to wander guided by above.
Is this the way is should be?
I've been told, that I need a purpose and a plan.
Would it help me win my life?
In deciding who I am to be, would I be all that I desire to be?
Could I do all I want to do? Would I go where I long to go?
Indeed, it ought to be aksed,

Is it best to be blind?

Why does the flower blossom today to die tomorrow?
Why do waves crash upon the sandy shores?
Why does reflection trouble the soul?

The world by Chance happened in place,
Setting fields in motion with never ending beauty;
Governed by Chaos great bounty multiplies,
Happen Chance creates a world.

Intricate design of atoms and cells to mankind.
An accident developed the earth, it is well known;
No planning or thought needed to create.
Birds learned to fly from crawling beasts,
From blobs of goo fish began to swim,
The slightest sound came from dumb lips.
Thoughts developed in an afterlife,
And rocks began to breathe.

Commanded by a man these things were so.
A man so great the world couldn’t keep.
Chance and Accident defined by mercy and grace.
A stillness comes, the answer known.
Darkness fought, peace settles in the soul.
Because chance and accident have a name, a face,
One of great compassion and undying love.

Does Normal Even Exist?

This thing called normal,
Praised by man,
Who shun those who have not.
By flowery speeches,
And flattering lies,
Normal rises to glory,
Only to push down,
All common decency.
Reflecting normal,
Only to find the average,
And what’s expected;
Those who are not,
Like all the rest,
Are laughed at.
They are made a spectacle,
With a smile and a laugh,
Pity and wonder shown,
By a point and a shrug.
People are distancing themselves
...from each other.
I look to see how they differ,
Seeing many distinctions,
And noting some similarities,
But none of them are the same.
Which are normal?
Which are not?

when my best is not enough

In striving to better myself,
I work my hardest towards my goal.
When obtained I often fail to be satisfied.
Was my goal not high enough,
Or am I simply always discontent?

When I fall short of reaching my aim,
I turn towards myself to yell accusations.
Was lack of success really because of me,
Or perhaps uncontrollable circumstance,
Had something to do with my imperfection?

How will I ever know?
Unable to go back and try harder,
To fix what I thought was wrong,
I’m left looking in the past,
Contemplating what ifs.

Crowding My Mind

There are too many thoughts
Seeking to occupy my mind
All those of importance
Seem to be buried deep down
Underneath innumerable
Frivolous inklings

What I Know

Knowledge none,
Understanding cease,
Clouds before mine eyes,
Wool to my ears.
My mind, my heart,
On things on earth,
I long to fly,
And long to seek,
Things of God.
Reveal to me,
Open my heart to see.
Grant me wisdom,
Discernment for the mind.
Your word has hidden,
Let reveal,
The mysteries and peace;
All that I am is naught,
Of dust I am and will be,
Undiscerning, undeserving.
Heavenly wisdom locked away,
Far from me the fool.
Undeserving, undiscerning,
All I am is not enough,
To know You more;
Surpassing knowledge,
That I have not,
Unknowable, Noncomprehendable,
You to me O, humble me.
Clothed with beauty great,
Unapproachable, untouchable,
Unknowable.
Chosen me by You.
Hear my cry,
Hear my prayer,
To know You.

Haiku 7028n

Life, seemingly small
Yet brightly vibrant
Each one is distinct

Thinking Thoughts And Writing Words

The right word is the wrong word
The wrong word is the right word
Words are only words
Thoughts are thoughts
Often misinterpreted
Words can’t be thoughts
Thoughts can’t be words,
Written down understood
Thoughts are thoughts
Words are words
Thinking thoughts
Writing words
Think about you words
Write about you thoughts
Yet two remain
Not the same
To me to you
Uncommunicative
Loss of life
Loss of thought
Slow in thought
Slow in might
Slow in word
Considered naught
Yet words remain
Delay to fade
Continue after death
Though words will stay
Thoughts influence
What we say
Thought will make
Who we think we are
Words do make
Who we’re thought to be
Write a word
Think a thought
Remember what
Each are not

Because of You

Will you make the world a little better today?
Your presence will change the world.
Will you smile bring joy to someone's day?
Or as you hurry by will tears come to someones eyes?
You will make a difference in a life today.
Will the touch of your hand bring a ray of light?
Or will a haughty look bring a stab of hurt?
Because of you the world won't be the same.
Will the words you speak bring a spark of hope?
Or cause despair to take root in someone's heart?
Who you are will change who someone else will be.
Will your presence comfort in a time of need?
Or lack there of bring loneliness and pain?
Your life will make a difference.
Will the thing you give create joy for those that receive?
Or will thoughts of you stir up anger in the heart?
Will the house you're in feel your love for them?
Or will those around you be dissatisfied?
Just being in this world guaranties that your presence will be felt.
Will you be the bringer of peace?
Or will with you discontent come?
Because of you things will change.
Will it be for better of for worse?

Emptiness

Satisfaction
Unknown in this life
Contentment
Strived for
Never reaching
Perfect goals
An emptiness
Always void
Fulfillment
Longed for
Impossibilities
To gain
Just wait
Wait on the LORD

All the labor of man is for his mouth,
And yet the soul is not satisfied.
Ecclesiastes 6:7

After

The light comes and penetrates all the dark nooks and all the dark crannies. I looked and I saw that it was gone. What had been there before was not there after.
"Ha" I said to him, "It is now after and not before, you are gone and can not be."
"Yes..." That was his dieing word. But later, much later, I heard, "Once more I live in the corners and in the dark."
I answered, "but how? It is now after and not before."
"It is after what is after the before! It is the future."

The Death of Simplicity

It went unnoticed,
And nobody seemed to care;
But then in looking for,
What they used to know;
The discovery was made,
Simplicity was dead.

The Lord is love.
Let it be known,
Sing it to the world.
Tell every one,
Without love,
Is without God.
Sing it today,
Tell it each morn.
To everyone,
Rise and speak,
Love each day.
Serve the King,
Praise the Father,
Each moment,
Forever.

Questions all around
Everywhere needs surround
I long to help
I long to find … the answers

In my seeking
I am searching to find
Solutions to the world’s pain

But my own problems
My own struggles
Hide the road

How can I share?
How can I tell?
The way I’ve found

I am just a spot on this earth
Unknown, unrecognized

My quiet voice
Goes unheard

Of all that live,
My life be small
My whispered cry
Still unnoticed

My pleas turn heavenward
Father by your grace
Hear my cry

The smallest groaning
My heart’s gentle longings
Are now received
By my Father, By my King

The Son, the Christ
He lives, He lives again
And still does seek
The lost to bring

His doors are open wide
The way inside is Jesus Christ

I want to be invisible,
But crowds screaming my name,
Keep pointing me out.

I wish to steal away and never be found,
But where ever I go they uncover me.

Scores of people then encircle me.
Begging, crying, making me reach out.

Why is it that I am this way?
Why do I care,
About millions of people?

Those I don’t even know,
Touching my soul;
Pausing to make me wonder.

It seems that I can’t;
I can’t just hurry away.

Her name was Annalisa and there was a red cross in the window

In a place were she could understand nothing that was said everyone seemed distant and unconcerned. She lived in a world of confusion. Not knowing even simple words, Annalisa couldn’t follow directions or ask for help.
It was Easter Sunday. Annalisa intended to spend the day with her sister who lived in another part of town. On her way Annalisa turned down the wrong street. Unable to read the signs or ask which way, she followed a crowd of people to a large church. She went inside and sat down. A man began to speak a language she could not comprehend. The choir began to sing, beautiful sounds, but they had no meaning to the girl. Sitting quietly in her place Annalisa’s eyes began to wonder. First over the people, like herself, who were sitting quietly, but looking attentively at the pastor, for they could understand what he said. Then Annalisa’s attention turned towards the choir, sitting tall and stiff in their starched robes. While her eyes were roaming around the room she noticed beside her an old lady and behind the lady was a window, a window made of stained glass. It was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. Full of colors the window framed a dark red cross. Although, Annalisa didn’t know the language and couldn’t understand the song, she knew the story behind the cross. Even this Easter Sunday she would celebrate the victory of Jesus Christ. Despite being lost and hungry she could rejoice in her salvation.

Time

Time, never enough,
To get it all done.
Running short of time,
Try hard as you might,
To lay it aside,
Never succeeding.
But given away,
Time doth multiply.

The Reality of Contradictions

Contradictions, what are they? Are there any which are not?

Two opposites do not neutralize, only add confusion.

Life ceases to exist yet continues, not any more yet forever more.

Now becomes then, yet now is always here.

A change of place changes here, yet there is never here.

Haiku 8031

Glad that I'm unique
Welcoming who He made me
I praise my Maker

Thinking of you

I care for you
Why I do not know
God has placed you in my heart
For a reason only He knows
So I will lift you up
To my Father
Asking Christ to plea for you

Every thought I think
If it is turned to you
Then in that moment
I will remember you
To the Lord Almighty

Because of God’s mercy
I come into His presence
This same mercy I wish
Extended to you

Sonnet 608

People die, when you do what will God say?
All have sinned and fall short of God's glory
I sin by failing to do things God's way
My sin earns me death for eternity
Nothing we do can ever change our plight
God is holy, with Him sin can not dwell
Forever doomed to be cast from God's sight
After death on earth our home is in hell
God's love is so great He died in our stead
Jesus Christ was crucified and buried
Three days later God’s Son rose from the dead
It was my punishment that Christ carried
If you believe this is true and confess
Jesus is Lord you will be saved by grace

Rom 3:23
Rom 6:23
John 3:16
Eph 2:8-9
Rom 10:9

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